79. Light

What I’m up to

I’m finally easing back into my old routine (the routine that pretty much went to pot around the holidays, as evidenced by my inconsistent posting): walking before work every morning, going to bed semi-early, and writing this at the cafe by the language school.

Our winter break was really wonderful — the best part was my parents’ visit and getting to spend Christmas Day with my parents and brother’s family. It was both relaxing (I read and read and read to meet 2022 reading goal) and 熱鬧 (we hosted 65+ people for meals over four days), which is just how holidays should be.

Now we’re back at school/work, back to former routines. It’s a new year but the same life.

Meta

What I’m reading

Here are the books I finished over break:

The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O’Farrell, A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan, Counterfeit by Kristin Chen, The Stand-In by Lily Chu, Run Rose Run by Dolly Parton and James Patterson, The Candy House by Jennifer Egan, Lucy by the Sea by Elizabeth Strout, The Nickel Boys by Colton Whitehead, Taste: My Life Through Food by Stanley Tucci, Fiona and Jane by Jean Chen Ho, Five Tuesdays in Winter by Lily King, Stay True by Hua Hsu, The Buddha in the Attic by Julie Otsuka, and So Long, See You Tomorrow by William Maxwell.

I also read The Anomaly by Hervé Le Tellier over the New Year (and I recommend it — it’s realistic sci-fi and quite gripping).

I highlighted my year’s superlatives here.

What I’m thinking about

I’ve never chosen a Word of the Year more easily than I did this year. This year’s word is light.

What I’m learning

For a long time now, I’ve had a really hard time reading the Bible. My fear has been that reading the Bible will reveal my disbelief. True inquiry cannot be constrained by a pre-determined outcome, and I am afraid that if I truly read the Bible, I will not end up with a stronger faith, but with no faith.

Potential existential crisis aside, no faith could affect my employment, even our residence here in Taiwan. It could affect my family relationships. Therein lies the fear.

But I am through with the deconstruction; I want to rebuild. I’ve clung to my faith, sometimes beyond reason, and all this clinging has left me pretty tired.

My friend M reminded me that it’s up to God to defend the Bible, so I shouldn’t be afraid.

So this year I’m going to try to read (listen to) the entire Bible for the first time since I was a teenager. My strategy is just to listen, not to wrestle, defend, or critique. This is scary, but I’m also learning… this is faith.

What I’m digging

My Christmas presents (I love presents).

I may have mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite purchases of 2022: a necklace clasp that not only allows you to layer multiple necklaces without the chains tangling, but also makes it super easy to put on and take off the necklaces.

Anna’s old Kindle Paperwhite. She got a new one for Christmas, so I stole her old one. I actually have the fanciest Kindle — the Oasis — but mine is defective and doesn’t hold a charge. Sometimes fancier is not better.

Anna is not just a playwright (for the second time around!), she’s also a director! Anna directed the elementary school drama club’s performance of our take on Jack and the Beanstalk (which ends without magic, but with a vegetable garden haha) this week. They killed it!

Until next week,

Kate