What I’m up to
We are back in Taiwan, on day 2 of our self-health management period. (This means we are no longer locked down, but should avoid unnecessary excursions.) So far I have left the house only to go to the morning market (and then promptly made a smoothie for breakfast and fish tacos for lunch!).
You know the cliche that you need a vacation after returning from vacation? Well, it’s a cliche because it’s true. Three+ days of quarantine is the way to go! I’ve been loving it.
Also - we are digging our new place.
What I’m reading
I flew through Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, a novel about friendship, love, computer game design, creativity, and passion. It’s one of the most enjoyable books I’ve read this year.
I also read Emily Henry’s Book Lovers, which turns the hometown romance trope upside down (which I liked — I rooted for the Patrick Dempsey character in Sweet Home Alabama). My favorite thing about the book was the inside baseball look at the publishing industry (one character is an agent, the other an editor). I love reading books depicting people who love — and are good at — their jobs. Come to think of it, perhaps my favorite thing about Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow was the long descriptions of the characters engrossed in their work.
I started listening to Rise: A Pop History of Asian America from the Nineties to Now by Jeff Yang, Phil Yu, and Philip Wang (of Wong Fu fame). Haven’t made it very far, so I’ll write more about this next week.
What I’m thinking about
Going back to work — and every time I think about work, I get a pit in my stomach. My job is split into two parts and one of the parts will be especially challenging this year. I’ve done a lot of reflection about where my strengths and passions lie, and I would say 40% of my current job is outside my comfort zone. My therapist told me there’s research that claims the ideal is to be engaged in something that’s 80% within your comfort zone and 20% not. I am hoping I can nudge the 40% closer to 20% this year.
What I’m learning
How precious time is. If you’ve been following along, you’ll know we spent a month with my parents and my little brother’s family this summer, the first time we’ve seen each other since the pandemic hit. It was also the longest we’ve stayed in the Philippines since we moved to Taiwan. (Pre-pandemic times, we generally spent summers in the US and headed to the Philippines for shorter breaks.)
When COVID hit, I didn't feel the distance from my parents right away. (I’m used to being away from family, having grown up away from relatives, and having lived in a different country from my parents since age 18.) We missed seeing everyone, of course, but mostly it felt fine.
But once I stepped foot in the Philippines — and especially once I saw my family — I had constant lump in my throat. It was so good to be there. I suddenly felt the years we’d been apart. The unspoken truth this summer was that we can take nothing for granted.
I am also learning generational humility. My kids are growing up more progressive than I am, which is something I didn’t think was possible (haha) but I should’ve known to expect. Sometimes my daughters correct me about something, and I want to protest at the underlying condescension. I want to say, But you came from me. I taught you that. But that’s the way of things.
While we were visiting, my mom said something that got my hackles up. It wasn’t until later that I truly thought about what she said and realized what she meant, which was really the opposite of what I had heard. What I took as a judgment (about an issue, not about me) was actually an expression of humility. This made me really see something that I’ve been learning slowly as I’ve become a parent myself: as a parent, best intentions often backfire, but we just have to do what we can. As a child and young adult, I often assumed the worse of my parents’ words and actions. But now I look back on all the same memories and I see love.
We’ve been back for five days now, and I’m still feeling homesick. Can you tell?
What I’m doing
Still finishing unpacking, but we are ALMOST done! I can now say I’m glad we moved. The kids are loving having their own rooms (for the first time ever). I am loving the change.
Starting to get work e-mails. One last week of break!
What I’ve saved
“The Magic of Your First Work Friends” - this made me think of Paul’s colleagues at Penn State’s Education Abroad office when we first moved to State College. That time (that group!) really was magic. (NYT)
I was rankled by Jamie Lee Curtis’s comment in this profile of Ana de Armas: “I assumed—and I say this with real embarrassment—because she had come from Cuba, that she had just arrived. I made an assumption that she was an inexperienced, unsophisticated young woman.” I suppose JLC (whom I loved in Everything Everywhere All At Once) gets points for feeling embarrassed she had this assumption? But this gives a little glimpse into the thoughtless superiority the majority feels towards the minority. (Elle)
“People aren’t trying to sell busyness as a virtue anymore, not even to themselves. A new generation has grown to adulthood that’s never known capitalism as a functioning economic system.” (Tim Kreider - NYT) I feel like the last part is not yet true in Taiwan, but I’ve noticed this worldview change in some of my former students who are now in university in the US. I’m glad. I am getting there.
Until next week,
Kate