What I’m up to
We moved! Our old apartment is fully vacated, and our new apartment is in good shape.
I am tired to the bone. I keep telling myself — just unpack one more box, and then you can rest. But I can’t seem to stop!
The upside is we are pretty much moved in.
My friends R and W came over for a house-warming nightcap the evening of our move. Then I hosted a big group of alumni the next day. We basically broke the apartment in by having company within 24 hours of moving, which was actually really nice.
I am exhausted.
But I am also super overwhelmed with gratitude for our community. There are only a few families left in staff housing (the majority hightailed it out soon after school ended), but those who were here showed up at my apartment during our pre-mover moving day and hauled a seemingly endless train of stuff through the pouring rain. It was a labor of love that is such an apt representation of what it is like to live in this community.
Past Kate also looked out for Current Kate. A few weeks ago, I booked an overnight stay in Tainan using credit card points. I actually booked the stay because I was afraid Anna and I would start getting impatient to leave for the Philippines and would need a distraction, but it was ended up being the perfect mandatory break from unpacking. Anna and I threw out our plans to wander around Tainan and, instead, read in bed and ordered takeout.
What I’m reading
Later by Stephen King. I haven’t read Stephen King since… high school? College? I just suddenly got sick of rom-coms and wanted the opposite. The book is about a kid who sees dead people. Good so far.
Still plugging away at The Netanyahus, which, 30% in, clearly ISN’T going to be my favorite of the year.
Started From Ash and Blood by Jennifer L. Armentrout based on a friend’s recommendation and also because I wanted to find a new series I could just jump into (like the Shadow and Bone series last summer). It fits the bill but, at the risk of sounding like an old lady, I cannot believe how steamy current “YA” fantasy series are these days 👵🏼.
What I’m thinking about
Two of my very dear former-students-now-friends set up a group call with me the other day. Both of them are midway through college; one is about to launch a podcast for a startup, and the other just returned from a trip from Portugal and has a grant to study medical Spanish this summer.
One of the strange parts of teaching high school seniors is this ongoing sense of being left behind. Every year, I walk alongside these kids as they say goodbyes and prepare to launch into adulthood. They plan their majors and their career goals. They dream dreams. Every year, they leave… and I start over again.
I am turning 40 this year along with several of my close friends. While I wouldn’t go so far as to use the words “midlife crisis,” it seems like all of us are reevaluating our life choices and asking ourselves big questions: Is this what I’m supposed to be doing? Should I be doing that other thing instead? Is it too late to change my mind? What should I do next? How can I make the most of now?
It reminds me of this Dear Sugar column by Cheryl Strayed about “the ghost ship that didn’t carry us:”
If I could go back in time I’d make the same choice in a snap. And yet, there remains my sister life. All the other things I could have done instead…
I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.
Something else I’m thinking about: one of the aforementioned friends sent our group chat a link to an episode from The Atlantic’s How to Build a Happy Life podcast called “How Not to Be Your Own Worst Enemy." There’s lots of good stuff in there, but I ended up accidentally listening to the next episode on loneliness, and what stuck with me is this suggested exercise: Picture yourself five years from now. You are happy. What are the five things that are making you happy? Numbers 3, 4, and 5 are likely extrinsic reasons — maybe financial security, a good job, fun vacations. Inevitably, numbers 1 and 2 will have to do with relationships. (Spiritual answers aside ;-), for me, 1 is strong relationships with my husband, kids, and friends. 2 is being part of cultivating a meaningful community. The implication here is that we tend to focus all our efforts on 3, 4, and 5 (work hard, invest, go for that promotion, move, etc.), when really, our efforts should go to 1 and 2.
That brings me to my ultimate conclusion about my midlife not-crisis — I want to soak up (and maintain!) what I love most about my life here, which are, incidentally, the people (reasons 1 and 2!).
What I’m learning
How much I need exercise. I have not exercised regularly since before the last month of school, and I can see a direct negative impact on my sleep quality, my stress levels, and my overall well-being. I hate running, but I need it.
After midnight last night, I got a text from Paul saying there’s an issue with our travel dates and the Philippines’ visa requirements. I spent some of the night fretting and all of the morning problem-solving. Our travel agent came through with a solution at the 11th hour.
Things worked out, but I am so tired. (Have I said that too many times?) The night at the hotel was great, but it was not enough. I am ready to go “home” to my parents’ house and crash in their guest room. I am ready for Paul to be back. I am ready to let someone else make some of the decisions.
Paul and Lucy arrive in Manila tonight. We leave to join them tomorrow morning. They’ve been gone for six weeks.
I just ran a a slow and sloppy mile on my friend’s treadmill. It helped.
What I’m doing
Now that I’ve mostly unpacked the house, I am now packing for our trip back. Anna and I packed all our clothes and personal items in carry-ons, and our two big suitcases are full of pasalubong.
Contemplating what to do with our living room walls.
Eyeing the remaining boxes that have nowhere to go.
Taking multiple showers a day because our a/c is only kind of working.
What I’ve saved
If you are traveling around the US this summer, you should check out this list of notable books set in each state. (NPR)
Can’t think of a word even though it’s at the tip of your tongue? This might help.
Fascinating thread about the diversity of beliefs about God in historical Judaism.
I love this. A different kind of multiverse story.
Until next week,
Kate