101. Nothing gold can stay

The opposite of anticipation isn’t dread. Maybe it’s gratitude.

What I’m up to

It’s the tail end of Spring Break. I’m writing this from my favorite airport lounge in Hong Kong at 6:54 AM. We spent a lovely week exploring HK with our friend C (who moved here last year) and close friends from Taiwan.

I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude this week: gratitude for friendships that transcend oceans, for the privilege of travel, for friends-of-friends that let us crash in their apartment, for new experiences, for amazing food. (I was also thankful to miss the massive earthquake that rocked Taiwan.)

What I’m reading

I read The Lost Library by Rebecca Stead for our library’s reading challenge. I was skeptical — one of the narrators is a cat; not my thing — but then something happened that made me gasp, and I was hooked.

I also read None of This is True by Lisa Jewell, per someone’s request. It was… ok.

Maggie O’Farrell’s The Distance Between Us was disappointing because I thought it was a new book, but it’s an older work (and it shows). I appreciated the TCK-subplot but the central relationship felt off to me. My favorite part of the book was that one of the protagonists is a TCK who grew up in Hong Kong. His cross-cultural angst felt real to me, and it was fun to read about HK before our visit.

I read the novella Our Spoons Came from Woolworths by Barbara Comyns per an Ann Patchett recommendation, and it was a fascinating reading experience because it is SO sad and yet so easy to read (kind of like Man at the Helm by Nina Stibbe, one of my favorites from last year).

I read Jamie Ford’s The Many Daughters of Afong Moy per my friend B’s recommendation, and it was pretty gripping. It jumps amongst the stories of multiple generations of women from the same family, examining epigenetic trauma (the idea that trauma passes on from generation to generation genetically).

I am watching The Gentlemen, 3 Body Problem, and Breaking Bad (because I can’t concentrate on just one show).

What I’m thinking about

Our school superintendent gave a devotion about hanging in there, staying strong as we count down the weeks until summer break, but to be honest, I feel the opposite of anticipation toward the end of every school year.

The end of school always brings goodbyes, whether it’s departing staff (friends!), graduating seniors, reassigned colleagues, or transferring students. Summer break also means a couple of months away from friends, regular routines, and often, home.

But there are things to anticipate. One thing I love about working in a school is the ebbs and flows of the school calendar. There are goodbyes in the spring, but each fall is a fresh start.

Summer also means seeing family. This year, Paul’s parents are visiting us in Taiwan, then we’ll all go together to see my family in the Philippines.

Seeing our friend C in her new home further reinforced the bittersweetness of this international life. We miss her all the time in Taiwan, but it’s so clear the move to Hong Kong was the right step for her.

I’ve said this before, but maybe the most valuable thing I’ve learned in adulthood is that change is inevitable. “Nothing gold can stay,” so we might as well enjoy each moment as it comes. No need to count down the days until summer.

What I’m learning

I am still meeting with a nurse coach every week, and I’m at the point where I’m fighting low-key despair from just how many issues I need to work through. It seems like every single day, I pinpoint something else I used to think was an incidental experience, but am now realizing has been recurring my entire life.

Someone once told me that going to therapy is like cleaning out a wound that healed badly. Before it can heal for real, you have to pick open the wound, which at first can feel much worse than just leaving it alone.

Sometimes I get really sad that I didn’t work through these issues a long time ago. But I know it’s better late than never.

What I’m digging

This from Sephora.

I brought the olive version of this bag and used it every day this trip. It can fit everything you’d need on a flight while still looking small enough to be a purse.

I put in 15,000+ steps per day in these (arguably fugly) shoes, and my feet didn’t hurt.

Hong Kong “Ding Dings,” our favorite of the seven modes of transportation we tried during our visit.

Need I mention how much I dig getting to travel with friends?

Until next time,

Kate